The Conversation
I just got off the phone with my girlfriend, and we were just checking in on each other to make sure quarantine wasn’t making us crazy. The conversation went like this:
Friend: “Girl, I can’t do this. I’m going crazy. I need to be out and socializing. I need to show myself!”.
Me: ”Show yourself??? I’m good…I mean, I don’t mind this time to myself, as I’ve been using it for self-reflection, but I also wouldn’t mind going out on my own terms…you know…like brunch dinner or something. I mean. I’m not pressed, but I do have my days.”
Friend: ”Nah…This AINT IT! Every day is a struggle. People NEED TO SEE ME!”.
Me: ”Ok…I get it…but I kinda don’t…maybe it’s because I’m an introvert”….
Friend: ”Well, I’m DEFINITELY an extrovert…and WE extroverts are struggling…”
Me: “I have struggle days, but I’m managing…I don’t need to SHOW MYSELF. LOL”…
Friend: ”Are you REALLY an Introvert?”.
Me: ”Girl, I guess…I don’t know…Alright girl. I’ll hit you later”.
Reflection
After I hung up the phone…I thought…am I REALLY an introvert? I know who I am. But every now and again, I like to take one those personality test to confirm what I already know. I don’t know why I do this. I’ve done these tests at school, as a work thing and on my own. They even have variations of these personality tests that have turned into “games” on social media. I assume the point is for others to get to know you…or to just confirm what you already know with yourself.
Spectrum
So, I took a test (yep…again) that I’ve taken (variations of) several times before, and I got the same (yep…again) answer, but this time the break down mentioned something that I never thought about before. It mentioned the term, “Quiet Extrovert”. Before I ran across this word, I’ve always considered myself an introvert. Some people would argue with me. I would laugh on the inside because I am an introvert…Right??? Maybe I just decided I was more introverted out of the two options. You are usually presented with, you’re either you’re an introvert or an extrovert. So, if I had to pick one, I would say, I’m an introvert. But then I saw the term quiet extrovert, and thought to myself…this may be more up my alley.
There are levels to this. We are all on a spectrum. No one is fully an introvert or extrovert, but we all fall along a spectrum of personality traits.
Quiet Extrovert
Let’s look at some definitions first to see if I really fit into these terms:
Extrovert: noun. an outgoing, overtly expressive person (I don’t consider myself outwardly expressive)
Introvert: noun. a shy, reticent person. (I was really shy when I was younger but I’ve grown out of it a bit, but I think I’m still shyish)
Quiet: adjective 1. making little or no noise. 2. carried out discreetly, secretly, or with moderation. (This depends on who I am around, but moderation is definitely key for me.)
Ok. Now, we are getting somewhere. I like to do things (activities) in moderation but when I do, I like to turn up. I mean, if we are doing this, Let’s Do This! I’m not the loudest one of my friends, but I’m not the quietest either. I make noise when necessary, if that makes sense. I definitely don’t need to be the center of attention.
So maybe I am a Quiet Extrovert. I’m honestly not sure if this is really a thing but the term peaked my interest. So, I just wanted to share this with anyone out there who feels they are introverted, but others may feel otherwise. I feel you girl.
Ambivert?
Then I did some (more) digging and found this definition on this website dedicated to introverts. The website notes:
“introversion and extroversion are on a spectrum, and nobody is 100% one or the other.” It mentioned the word Ambivert in this article which gave some perspective.
An ambivert is someone who falls in the middle of the introvert/extrovert continuum. Ambiverts have a blend of traits from both introverts and extroverts, as well as their own unique strengths.
Maybe instead of trying to convince people I’m an introvert, I’ll tell them I’m an ambivert. That should end that argument:
But There’s More…
As I said before, there are so many personality test out there that reveal which careers, lifestyles etc. are best for you, but at the end of the day none of us can be put into one box. I can definitely relate to the things I’ve discovered during my self-reflection search. It’s kind of like how someone will ask you your sign, and they base their entire opinion of you on your sign. We are individuals and one thing does not entirely define us. So even though I can go down a rabbit’s hole about different personalities, there will always be deviations from the definition. Like, is anyone 100% of anything?
Have you taken one of those personality test? What is your personality type? Do you think these tests confirms what you already knew about yourself?
Thoughts?
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